I had a singing lesson this week where we focused on breathing. Apparently, I breath all wrong especially for singing. It’s why no can hear me. That Maroon 5 lyric should be ‘can anyone hear me? Cause it’s getting harder and harder to breath”. An entire hour of trying to breath properly in order to let the sound just happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that breathing properly is not my problem but it’s just such a task to breath properly. But I guess that’s my other problem I want things to be easy. Even breathing. Oh and when I breath my back is supposed to expand. But it doesn’t. At least not yet.
My voice tends to stay in my head – which is bad for talking loudly because it’s all high pitched and doesn’t carry. So what I want is for my voice to go somewhere else. This is the part that kind of confuses me. I guess my voice is supposed to be in my chest or in my diaphragm. I don’t get it. Or breathing from the diaphragm will help my voice carry.
Anyways so I was trying to practice breathing properly at work and speaking from a different place. But it was putting in this zone – a bad zone of introspection. Trying to fill up my diaphragm and then speak and trying to hear if I sound louder. Sometimes I was louder, but then when I would forget about the whole routine and go back to the way I normally talk/breath, I would get annoyed with myself. It’s so frustrating. Why can’t I just be loud? I hate not being hear it’s the worst. But whatever I’ll just keep practicing and then eventually something good will happen. But the thing is I’m a million miles from where I want to be in terms of absolutely everything in my life and it’s so hard to stay hopeful that I’m going to be and do any of the stupid things I want. I always feel like I’m at the beginning to change. I never seem to get to the part where I’m actually changed. I guess that’s the stuff that makes it hard to breath.
Waking Dreams Up 