I am told that my mind is totally detached from my body which is why I cannot really produce sounds that carry.  I started working out – as I’ve mentioned – so should that help with re-attaching my body to my head.

Oh I wanted to mention another annoying thing.  According to my therapist, I set up humiliating and horrible circumstances unconsciously and I constantly fall into my own traps.  Example: the audition where I had an anxiety attack.  So is the cure never to go on an audition ever again?  I’m confused.  What am I supposed to do with this information?  How is this supposed to help me throughout my day.  Maybe it’s just better to spend life in front of the television and/or watching movies all day.  There I am sure there has never been any humiliating or horrible circumstances.  At least not for me.

I went to choir and karaoke last night.  I wasted a song at karaoke.  There’s this new game where they choose a word and you have to sing a song with that word in it.  I chose ‘Jailhouse Rock’ which is a great song – for Elvis or someone with that kind of voice.  I basically had to talk/sing it.  But there were a couple of times I remembered to breath properly at least, but no actual singing happened.  Choir was good.  I was focusing on breathing or at least trying to but it was difficult because I was also trying to learn new songs and pretend to look like I know how to read sheet music while trying to hear the proper notes to sing.  Oh well the breathing properly thing is a work in progress.  As is all the things in my life – a work in progress.

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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