I get it. It’s supposed to be a given that songwriters can sing/perform their own songs. And yet I exist to defy expectations I suppose. But not on Tuesday. Cause that’s when I sang and played on piano two original songs from various musicals I have been working on. I also sang accompanied on guitar. It was lovely. I can’t wait to do more. Not going to lie it was indeed nerve wracking and exhilarating all that the same time. I had a deer in headlights moment with my second song. And I did apologize saying ‘piano is new to me’.
I just want to express the fullness of who I am. I feel like writing, improvising and making music/musicals is part of the fullness of who I am. I never want to deny that part of myself ever again. It’s so vital to who I am as a person. I feel like I’ve gotta figure out how the creative stuff can work for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about value and worth and can something have value that doesn’t generate money? It’s so difficult for me to separate these things. I want these things that are so valuable to me to also be valuable and worthy for money. Why can’t both exist for me at the same time? A worthwhile feeling and the funds to meet it. That’s the dream I guess. But for now I appreciate these moments where I dedicate a lot of my time and my own funds to allowing these songs and musicals and stories to emerge.
Anyway there’s also this: