Songwriter Sings Her Songs

I get it.  It’s supposed to be a given that songwriters can sing/perform their own songs.  And yet I exist to defy expectations I suppose.  But not on Tuesday.  Cause that’s when I sang and played on piano two original songs from various musicals I have been working on.  I also sang accompanied on guitar.  It was lovely.  I can’t wait to do more.  Not going to lie it was indeed nerve wracking and exhilarating all that the same time.  I had a deer in headlights moment with my second song.  And I did apologize saying ‘piano is new to me’.


I just want to express the fullness of who I am.  I feel like writing, improvising and making music/musicals is part of the fullness of who I am. I never want to deny that part of myself ever again.  It’s so vital to who I am as a person.  I feel like I’ve gotta figure out how the creative stuff can work for me.  I’ve been thinking a lot about value and worth and can something have value that doesn’t generate money?  It’s so difficult for me to separate these things.  I want these things that are so valuable to me to also be valuable and worthy for money.  Why can’t both exist for me at the same time?  A worthwhile feeling and the funds to meet it.  That’s the dream I guess.  But for now I appreciate these moments where I dedicate a lot of my time and my own funds to allowing these songs and musicals and stories to emerge.

Anyway there’s also this:

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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