War of Art

So I re-read that book ‘The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles’.  I haven’t been very professional and I have been letting Resistance get the better of me. I gotta write these musicals in my brain.   Although I have been writing sporadically when the moment strikes me, I haven’t been working on them every single day.  I’ve let sickness, work, losing one of my cats and netflix distract me.  I gotta get back on track here.

Here’s the thing that I’m trying to figure out if this desire to write these musicals or do musicals or simply perform is an ego thing or a soul thing.  I am not sure how to tell them apart.  I mean yes from the ego side of things I 100% admit that I want to make lots and lots of money from the things I am passionate about like writing and performing and perhaps producing.  I say perhaps producing because I have yet not been a part of a producing venture that was not ego-driven.  I don’t think.  Anyway  money can’t be the only reason I do these things.  Right?  I mean if I wanted to make lots and lots of money then wouldn’t I just be a stripper or a drug dealer or in advertising or something.  There must be some other reason to write and sing and improvise with no reward.  I guess the reward for now is just doing the thing.  There must be a better reason to face the mountain of Resistance that awaits me.  I feel like I’m using this here blog to resist away and not write the first musical.

Someone asked me the other day what’s the end goal of the musical and I found myself saying ‘Broadway’.  Uh-oh I think that was my ego taking over the conversation a little but it didn’t feel wrong or arrogant or dim-witted a thing to say.  But yeah I guess in a perfect world where all dreams come true no matter what, the purpose of writing a musical would be so that it could be seen and heard by lots of people i.e. be on Broadway and/or make a movie musical of it and/or have people wanting to do  productions of it for years to come.

Anyway I don’t where this train of thought was going.  Something about the soul and noble reasons for engaging in artsy activities.  Whatever.  I’m simply not prepared for that paragraph.  I should probably log my progress thus far on the current musical I’m writing ‘Nobody’s Idol’.  So since September I’ve been taking music lessons where I’ve been writing the songs for the show.  Basically I get an idea for a song and all the things I want the song to say and just make up / improvise a melody and go from there.  I wish I’d taken music instead of Theatre…I mean I would probably still be exactly where I am but then I would know how to write this stuff down.  Enough of the resistance choir of shoulda/coulda/woulda’s.     K I’m going to go work on this thing already and stop resisting.