Sitting Down To Write

Why is sitting down to write my musical ever so difficult?  Why am I so petrified that there won’t be inspiration for me once I start?  There has always been so why wouldn’t there be this time around.  Why can’t I just do the work without all this mulling around for excuses.  I have time today and essentially everyday to focus and write yet fear holds me back.  I promised myself I would say ‘no’ to my excuses and just go for it.  But those pesky little excuses don’t seem like excuses at all.  Because I do need to find a place to live and should spend time doing that and the laundry and dishes do need to get done.  I have the whole day ahead of me and yet here I sit writing about how I can’t write.  I wanted to write 3 pages a day of my script…it’s been a couple of days since I actually did that.  What’s the point of serving coffee all day if when I’m off I don’t work on the thing I love the most?  I might as well stuff myself back into that box known as a cubicle and spend the rest of my days copy and pasting until my brain disintegrates and dies.  That has been my observation/experience working in offices, a boring waste of time with a slightly higher return than serving coffee.  However the cost is that I become dispirited.  So that’s why I don’t think I can work in an office ever again, unless I’m writing and not copy and pasting my life away.  The other undesirable thing about working in these offices after you’ve spent a million hours copy and pasting they want you to talk about how much you love copy and pasting and how that’s all you want to be and do.  I find that stupid.  At least when I’m serving coffee, I don’t necessarily have to proclaim serving coffee to be my life’s work.  It’s kind of obvious that it’s just a job to fund my habit of being awesome….or at least striving to be.  I can’t be awesome when copy and pasting all day.

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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