I have a busy week ahead.  Not only do I have 5:30 am shifts at that place known as hell I call work.  (I don’t really think it’s hell, just had a bad day what with being burned and stuff….what’s wrong with people why don’t they pay attention more…I know how hypocritical coming from the one with the deficit in matters concerning attention).  Tonight I have a rehearsal for ‘Nobody’s Idol’ the first 15 minutes of it.  I’m excited and nervous.  I like what I’ve written and can only hope others do too and get where it’s going.  The purpose is to make it clear what’s going on.  The staged reading will be at Free Times Cafe on Friday, June 8, 2012 as part of the ‘Script Scrap Festival’.  I also have 2 improv shows, Tues and Wed.

I really love all that is live performance.  All that is not where I am currently working. I’ve been feeling the rub of hating my job.  I try to be practical and positive about it and tell myself this is only temporary but I’m very frustrated.  I know I’m making it worse right now by ‘beating the drum of what is’ but I don’t know how not to.  I try to paint a lovely picture with a lovely little future that I try very hard to believe in but it’s days like this that make me really question the possibilities.  Am I ever going to make money from writing?  Is that a real thing that people get to do?  Or am I doomed to serve coffee or be stuffed in some cubicle somewhere trying to forget who I use to think I was.  I look at the job boards and am so un-enthused by what’s out there.  But maybe it’s just that kind of a day.  Maybe tomorrow there’ll be something better.

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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