Step by Step

I went to karaoke last night.  I sang the Whitney Houston song ‘Step by Step’.  It’s my favorite Whitney song but no one really seems to know it.  It’s all about not giving up and stuff.  Karaoke is not as fun as it was before the new year.  I just feel so awkward sitting at the bar drinking a beer by my lonesome waiting to sing.  It sucks so much.  My mind is so filled up with insecure thoughts about stuff. But I guess any way I can practice singing in front of an audience is good.  I’ve extended many an invitation to my friends to join me but I dunno I guess they’re busy or forgot or not interested.  We’ll see maybe next week people will join me and it can be fun again.

I feel like I’ve done a lot this week for me  and my musical journey.  I went to choir practice last night which was alright.  I think I’m getting better at reading music.  I still get confused about how to recognize a key change.

This morning I spent time emailing random people about looking for a composer and/or a song writing class.  I swear I am a Tim Rice searching for my Andrew Llyod Webber.  I emailed the guy who runs the play-writing circle I am part of – see what he has to say about the subject.   I’m worried about this group because I’m the only one writing a musical and I don’t know how to write music.  I feel a panic beginning in my chest threatening this entire operation all together.  I also emailed the artistic director of a theatre company called Smile.  I saw a couple of weeks ago they were looking for musical theatre writers to form a similar writing group to the one that I am already in.  I asked for guidance about where to look for a composer or song-writing class.  I also googled ‘songwriting class Toronto’ and found MOD Music Academy and sent a message regarding this stuff.  Right just got to take it ‘step by step, bit by bit…’

On Monday of this week I met with Jen my choreographer for the first time.  We worked on ‘I Gotcha!” which I am uber excited about.  It’s going to be so much fun.  I like working on the dance stuff as I’m figuring out how to do the whole one woman show thing – it makes it feel real.  I’m going to work out today and practice the dance…even though I’ve been practicing all week.  In the back room of the Starbucks I work at…for 2 seconds on stage during an improv show…I’m just so excited about it.  Plus I noticed it gives me a boost of endorphins or whatever when I practice it at work (in the privacy of my own break of course).

I also had a singing lesson on Tuesday where we worked out the kinks in ‘Holding Out For a Hero’.  The age old problem-o of feeling really good about my singing during the lesson but then not so good once I get in front of people or the mirror.

I’ll leave you with this Houston classic:

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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