Last night I had a dream I was performing with Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel.  It was really cool.  I’m pretty sure in the dream I was still in the back of the chorus but I just as excited.

It’s the Christmas Holidays and the last couple of days have been quiet in the way of singing or working on my show.   I’ve been basking in the glow of the television light and watched movie after movie after episode of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.  I’m being lazy.  I should be taking every available moment and working on the things that need working on.  Instead as usual I’m being lazy.   But I have to try not too be too hard on myself (one of my new years resolutions).

This holiday I am debating about whether or not I should take this Audition Class offered by Elaine Overholt and Michael Hanrahan.  It is rather expensive and what with my grown up life which includes buying furniture and paying rent, however shall I pay for such luxuries.  Credit card to the rescue.  As the amount goes up, so does my guilt which I need to clamp down so I can make it through this portion of the journey.  Even if this part of the journey — the part where I never have enough money — seems to hang over me like a shadow obscuring the destination.   Ugh.  That’s enough.  I need to practice telling the story of me the way I want it to be, not the way it is.  So let’s practice.  Omigod I just got cast in the lead role in this amazing musical.  I feel great.  The part is perfect for me and I do it well and with ease – even though it is really difficult.  And I just received $25000 unexpected income just for being my amazing self.  Not only am I in this amazing musical I’ve also finished writing my musical masterpiece ‘Nobody’s Idol’. For which it will go on win many awards, eventually being made into movie…yadda, yadda…I win an Oscar for best original…yadda yadda…Oh and my own woman show – total success. Oh and I really think the actresses who get to play the lead characters in Nobody’s Idol will win awards or at least praise – the characters are just so good.  I’m giving them gold.

I know there’s no feeling behind it to make it really, real.  I really want to write for Glee – if the characters make it past high school.  I could write those character sooo well, as put in some classic moments from my life and add some songs…perfect.

Ok, that’s enough day dreaming.  Time to find my cellphone and get going.

About Alex Lean

I am just another dreamer trying to wake up
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