I am suffering from the most intense writer’s block ever. Yes I realize I am writing these words but blogging is not real writing or the kind of writing I meant to be writing. I have so many ideas for plays and screenplays that are really good. Why can’t I just write them? I opened up Final Draft for the first time in about year today. I was all set to work on my latest idea for a show and I can’t even get past the first sentence. It’s so frustrating because I have really good ideas that could be really great if I actually worked on them. But as soon as I sit down to work – there is nothing. I’m so annoyed with myself. It’s like why have these ideas if I’m just never going to do them. Maybe I can just write all my one sentence ideas and someone else can make use of them since I’m clearly incapable for making them into anything.
Things I’d like to write:
- a woman becomes possessed by the spirits of Ethel Merman, Judy Garland and Lucille Ball
- three women escape from a mental institution to audition for a world famous singing competition
- looney tunes characters like Wiley Coyote, Sylvester and Elmer Fudd finally get what they want…now what? (this idea was an old one)
- A little girl’s dolls rescue her from an intense situation
Shows I’d like to produce:
- a monthly improv show where I would get to perform with one other improviser for an hour (what stops me? Who would want to perform with me? Who would want to come see me? I’m not that good).
- A cabaret show with a compilation of my favorite songs (see above for what stops me)
- a monthly talent type show that would give local artists/performers a chance to showcase they’re other talents. Like if they were generally a comedian but wrote poetry; or an actor who wanted to try stand-up; or a dancer who wanted had a magic act…but the thing with this type of show is that I would want the quality to be good…the whole idea is that they would actually be good at this other talent that they are showcasing for the first time or developing. (I think this show is the type of show I could do easily because it requires nothing from me other than organization which is easier than actually putting myself out there.)
- I still want to do an online talk show (the thing that stops me I’ve never really liked hosting)
Then again, this is how I generally operate. I freak out about how I can’t do anything and then the very next moment I do the very thing I said I couldn’t do. This same heart clutching anxiety overtook me before I wrote any essay in school or exam. I hate this part of the process. Why does it have to exist?