Back from my audition. It went well. Not awful which is a plus. I arrived at Hart House and waited in the dungeon-esque waiting area. There were 4 people already waiting. Three studied or were studying at Randolph and were very talkative amongst one another. I focused on filling out the form. I texted my voice coach for my range: Low A to D, she says. I come back to sit in an empty seat with the dramatic bunch. They talk about school and where they study. Eventually this new girl arrived to wait while one of the Randolph-ians did her audition. This new girl who calls herself Sophie Loren, sometimes, tells me I look exactly like Liza and proceeds to call me that for the duration of the waiting period. The auditions were running late. The perky Randolph-ian comes out and says she’s got a dance call back on Sunday. The next one goes in and the same thing, he gets a dance callback. Nerves start to rouse in my chest. I try to breath and stay focused. As the next one does her audition, I am distracted by a new arrival – they all know each other. And then Sophie Loren, does her Lady Gaga monologue for me. I am genuinely intrigued at the fact that Lady Gaga did a monologue and plan to google it right after I write this. At least Sophie Loren’s energy is positive and uplifting and she insists that because I look like Liza I’ll for sure get cast as the lead in Cabaret. My humility hugs me like a wet blanket and I tell her well they have to consider everything else too. I think about how I can sing and act but that my dancing leaves much to be desired. The latest auditionee comes back (the non Randolph-ian) she did not get a dance call back. Then the next Randolph-ian goes in. She is tall and gorgeous with hair like Sandy’s at the end of Grease. Eventually she comes out, she is confused and hurt, although she tries to hide it as she tells us she didn’t get a dance callback. But they’d asked her to do a pirouette. I was starting to worry what kind of sadistic bastards were running these auditions. I was to be next. I waited a long, long time. I guess they took a bathroom break or something. They all came out to tell us that the auditions would be ‘down and dirty’. Then I went in. We walked through a maze of spooky looking corridors into this back room. The stage manager (I think) made a joke about getting use to ghosts which I took to heart, asking if she’d ever actually seen one…and said no. Got in the room, the accompanist wasn’t back yet…so I was asked all the questions on the form I had to fill out. Asked about my dance experience – how many years and I said about 13 to 15 in high school and university. They asked what my best dance was and I said tap….which I realized wasn’t the best answer because I’m not sure how much tap there is in Cabaret. It’s been awhile since I’ve actually seen the movie. I just love those songs.
I was most nervous about how to explain to the accompanist what I needed and give him the correct tempo. Because Don Juan starts on an offbeat and I kept messing it up when I was practicing with my voice coach. Anyway I did it. Got the chair I needed. Did the first verse and chorus with choreography. The accompanist stops asks to hear my other song. Ok. I give him the sheet music. Here’s where I go off. I get confused about explaining the tempo and if I’m actually starting. Doh! Anyway eventually I get to this singing and I’m not sure but I think I might’ve been flat or sharp or off. Then, the director (I suppose) asked if I was affiliated with U of T which I thought I wasn’t but then I remembered that I was. I sent them a quick email when I got home – in case it makes any difference. And that was it. No dance call back either. One of the Randolph-ians who was still there when I left told me not to worry and that they may still callback in email form because they never gave them the proper information. So I guess there is still a glimmer of hope left.
On my way home I was fighting with my inner demons – as usual. Part of me wants to go back to the old negative way of thinking and be like: “See, even when you try your hardest and are the most prepared…you still fail”. But then the other part wants to be like “better luck next time”. And yet another part wants to still believe there’s still a chance for me. All I know is that I was really prepared and this was my best audition yet. So it’s up them now. But I’m going to let it be. I did what I could do. Now move on to the next thing.